This week has been challenging and I've been dealing with many losses.
1. I'm going to lose my community member and co-worker two months early. She is leaving us for a job opportunity that is too good to pass up.
2. Though I'm uncertain of my future, I am fairly certain I will not be staying at Friendship Park due to an unavailability of job positions. I really wanted to stay and am completely in love with the work I do, and am sad to realize it will be going away. I never expected to love it and this place as much as I do and am coping with the fact that it will end.
3. There has been family issues this week. Until I get further clearance to discuss them, please pray for my family.
On top of all that, it has been raining all week in Sacramento. It's good for the crops, but not for the guests I work with. Everyone has been negative, cranky, sometimes even arrogant and hostile.
When the guests do something that really disappoints me, I tell them, "You hurt my heart." My heart has been hurting a lot this week.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
Sleep Well, and When You Dream, Dream of Me
So it's almost midnight on the west coast, but I wanted to write this post before Saturday, because Saturday is our community's technology free day. I will write a few brief points about this week now, and hopefully expand on them later. . . better yet, call, write or message me for more information! I would love to hear from people! (It can be a lonely life out here sometimes, especially since I'm so far away from family, friends, and everything I've ever known!!)
A few points:
-Our JVC program coordinator, Amber, was in this week to meet with us individually to check in. Our community is good, says the report.
-Alice had her 23rd birthday on Wednesday!! We celebrated by eating appetizers for dinner and we will be going dancing tomorrow.
-A group of 13 college students spent their spring break volunteering at Loaves and Fishes this week! It was great to have extra help!
-I bought my plane ticket home in May!!!!
-I got my CA driver's permit!! License, here I come!
A few points:
-Our JVC program coordinator, Amber, was in this week to meet with us individually to check in. Our community is good, says the report.
-Alice had her 23rd birthday on Wednesday!! We celebrated by eating appetizers for dinner and we will be going dancing tomorrow.
-A group of 13 college students spent their spring break volunteering at Loaves and Fishes this week! It was great to have extra help!
-I bought my plane ticket home in May!!!!
-I got my CA driver's permit!! License, here I come!
Friday, March 2, 2012
I'm Just a Little Bit Caught in the Middle
Not only has this song been stuck in my head all week, but it's pretty much how I've been feeling. Don't misunderstand me- work is a great place and everyone there is very supportive. The community is supportive, as well, and there hasn't been any problems there.
The problem is this pulled feeling.
At work, a single father and his 2 year old son that came to me to get out of California. I tried my hardest, and we still couldn't help him. Every resource is tapped out of funds. No one could give him money. In addition, his situation raised a few red flags. I struggled all day (and the next few) with this tension. Why is the child in his custody? Why does he want to leave the state so quickly? Could it be his simple explanation, or is there more? Are we only suspicious of him because he is a man, or would we be equally suspicious if it was a mother? I have not seen him since I initially helped him, and can only pray for him and the safety of his son.
One of my community members has a definite plan for her future! Though I am excited for her, I am disappointed in myself. I don't even have an inkling of what I want to do or where I want to be. I don't have a guess of what city, what job field, nada. Nothing comes to me, though I think about it constantly and pray about it frequently.
My family was all together to celebrate Tom going into Nationals- Yay Tom!! I am extremely proud (as many are!) and wish him the best! When they were together though, I was alone thousands of miles away. Yes, it was my choice to move to Sacramento, and I would not change it. But I'm still allowed to be sad!
I keep thinking of song lyrics to support this torn feeling, but the song "Que Sera Sera" keeps popping into my head now!
My next post will be titled "Que Sera Sera- Whatever will be, will be" because that is how I should be living my life! I'm tired of feeling disgruntled. So what that I don't know where I want to be? I will keep on being, and I will be open to new experiences! I did my best with the father and son, and now I have to trust that God will do His best- and He will, since He's God! I believe this is where I need to be, and this is where I should be!
Alright- Whatever will be, will be!
The problem is this pulled feeling.
At work, a single father and his 2 year old son that came to me to get out of California. I tried my hardest, and we still couldn't help him. Every resource is tapped out of funds. No one could give him money. In addition, his situation raised a few red flags. I struggled all day (and the next few) with this tension. Why is the child in his custody? Why does he want to leave the state so quickly? Could it be his simple explanation, or is there more? Are we only suspicious of him because he is a man, or would we be equally suspicious if it was a mother? I have not seen him since I initially helped him, and can only pray for him and the safety of his son.
One of my community members has a definite plan for her future! Though I am excited for her, I am disappointed in myself. I don't even have an inkling of what I want to do or where I want to be. I don't have a guess of what city, what job field, nada. Nothing comes to me, though I think about it constantly and pray about it frequently.
My family was all together to celebrate Tom going into Nationals- Yay Tom!! I am extremely proud (as many are!) and wish him the best! When they were together though, I was alone thousands of miles away. Yes, it was my choice to move to Sacramento, and I would not change it. But I'm still allowed to be sad!
I keep thinking of song lyrics to support this torn feeling, but the song "Que Sera Sera" keeps popping into my head now!
My next post will be titled "Que Sera Sera- Whatever will be, will be" because that is how I should be living my life! I'm tired of feeling disgruntled. So what that I don't know where I want to be? I will keep on being, and I will be open to new experiences! I did my best with the father and son, and now I have to trust that God will do His best- and He will, since He's God! I believe this is where I need to be, and this is where I should be!
Alright- Whatever will be, will be!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Is There Anyone Out There? ('Cuz it's getting harder and harder to breathe. . .)
I was just rifling through my old posts and I haven't had any comments for the last few posts! It's difficult to write this when I feel no one is reading it! Oh well, I'll write it anyway.
The winds have been blowing here in Sacramento! (I almost titled this post "The Answer, My Friend, is Blowing in the Wind.") Other than the wind, the weather has been beautiful! It reached 70 degrees yesterday, which sort of makes me nervous for the summer. It has been the lowest rainfall count in years, and the farmers are hoping for rain all March to save their crops. Rain is a mixed blessing- good for crops; bad for people. Because I work outside, I'll get soaked, but all the guests I work with have an extremely tough life when it is raining. In time we shall see!
All the families are gone, but Tessa is out of town, so our community still isn't a community :( But it will be soon!
A few stories I heard this week:
-Jon wants badly to go home to Seattle, but seems to be stopped at every financial obstacle.
-Larry is getting into housing soon. He has his bags packed at the shelter and is just waiting for the call!
-Mark the blue hat (a part-time worker) is getting his book of poems published!
-Alfredo still hasn't been released from jail, and Phoenix is getting more and more scared every time I see her.
-Wayne was so proud of himself today when he passed up the sweets in the breakfast line! His diabetes thanks him!
Highlight of the week:
A senior photography major at Sacramento State University chose to do his senior project on the people at Loaves and Fishes. All week he has been taking portraits of the children and their families, the women, and the men. He will compile these pictures into an exhibit at his school, but first he will give everybody a copy of their picture! Everyone is so excited to have a picture of themselves!
The winds have been blowing here in Sacramento! (I almost titled this post "The Answer, My Friend, is Blowing in the Wind.") Other than the wind, the weather has been beautiful! It reached 70 degrees yesterday, which sort of makes me nervous for the summer. It has been the lowest rainfall count in years, and the farmers are hoping for rain all March to save their crops. Rain is a mixed blessing- good for crops; bad for people. Because I work outside, I'll get soaked, but all the guests I work with have an extremely tough life when it is raining. In time we shall see!
All the families are gone, but Tessa is out of town, so our community still isn't a community :( But it will be soon!
A few stories I heard this week:
-Jon wants badly to go home to Seattle, but seems to be stopped at every financial obstacle.
-Larry is getting into housing soon. He has his bags packed at the shelter and is just waiting for the call!
-Mark the blue hat (a part-time worker) is getting his book of poems published!
-Alfredo still hasn't been released from jail, and Phoenix is getting more and more scared every time I see her.
-Wayne was so proud of himself today when he passed up the sweets in the breakfast line! His diabetes thanks him!
Highlight of the week:
A senior photography major at Sacramento State University chose to do his senior project on the people at Loaves and Fishes. All week he has been taking portraits of the children and their families, the women, and the men. He will compile these pictures into an exhibit at his school, but first he will give everybody a copy of their picture! Everyone is so excited to have a picture of themselves!
Friday, February 17, 2012
You are Loved!
One of my favorite vocalists is Josh Groban, and it doesn't hurt that he's easy on the eyes! He has a song titled "You are Loved" which is a small anthem in my life. When I left for JVC, my mom's best friend, Mary O'Connor, gave me a Celtic heart necklace to remind me I am loved. I wear it most days to work (the exceptions being when I wake up with 10 minutes to get ready) and it has gotten a bit tarnished already. Whenever I wear it, I hum that song in my head.
Tuesday was Valentine's Day, and as Cher and many others have sang, "Love was in the Air." (The lyric is actually "Love is in the air" but I had to have verb agreement.) Nothing awful happened at the park and everybody was happy. It was especially windy, but that only reminded me of home!
The week at the park has been relatively uneventful, as has life at the casa. Same old, same old! Parents have invaded the house- Tess's mom came in last night, Laura's parents came in this morning, and Kathleen's parents and siblings will be here in a few minutes! Everyone (except for Krystal and I) will be gone this weekend, and we have the house to ourselves! Chick flicks and hot cocoa- here we come!
Tuesday was Valentine's Day, and as Cher and many others have sang, "Love was in the Air." (The lyric is actually "Love is in the air" but I had to have verb agreement.) Nothing awful happened at the park and everybody was happy. It was especially windy, but that only reminded me of home!
The week at the park has been relatively uneventful, as has life at the casa. Same old, same old! Parents have invaded the house- Tess's mom came in last night, Laura's parents came in this morning, and Kathleen's parents and siblings will be here in a few minutes! Everyone (except for Krystal and I) will be gone this weekend, and we have the house to ourselves! Chick flicks and hot cocoa- here we come!
Friday, February 10, 2012
Give me one reason to stay here. . .
Why am I here? Here's a reason:
A letter of condemnation was written to Sacramento mayor, Kevin Johnson, by a United Nations Special Rapporteur on Human Rights. Catarina de Albuquerque visited Sacramento in 2011 and found it appalling that the city targets the homeless specifically by denying access to clean water and public restrooms. She called this treatment “cruel, inhumane, and degrading treatment” under international law, comparing the homeless plight in Sacramento to that of a second world country.
That's right- Sacramento is violating human rights. The city shuts of water fountains, locks park and other local bathrooms, and tickets the homeless for public urination/defecation and illegal camping. SafeGround, the illegal tent city, has offered to pay for a portable bathroom if they were allowed to legally camp in a plot of land. The city denies them.
Now the U.N. has stepped in, and the mayor "understands the frustration" and the homelessness problem and it "has kept him awake most nights." He went on to say, "No one is more frustrated than me by the lack of progress in fully addressing our homelessness challenges."
Really? Well this is an election year. . .
Read for yourself-
Here's the Letter
Here is the best press release
Here's a general follow-up with links to other press
Here is a Huffington Post article
SafeGround held a press conference on this letter and little press coverage was given to this issue. Our major newspaper had a press clipping. This issue was not on the agenda to discuss in the city council meeting.
Our mayor loses sleep because of this issue, but is doing nothing to resolve it.
A letter of condemnation was written to Sacramento mayor, Kevin Johnson, by a United Nations Special Rapporteur on Human Rights. Catarina de Albuquerque visited Sacramento in 2011 and found it appalling that the city targets the homeless specifically by denying access to clean water and public restrooms. She called this treatment “cruel, inhumane, and degrading treatment” under international law, comparing the homeless plight in Sacramento to that of a second world country.
That's right- Sacramento is violating human rights. The city shuts of water fountains, locks park and other local bathrooms, and tickets the homeless for public urination/defecation and illegal camping. SafeGround, the illegal tent city, has offered to pay for a portable bathroom if they were allowed to legally camp in a plot of land. The city denies them.
Now the U.N. has stepped in, and the mayor "understands the frustration" and the homelessness problem and it "has kept him awake most nights." He went on to say, "No one is more frustrated than me by the lack of progress in fully addressing our homelessness challenges."
Really? Well this is an election year. . .
Read for yourself-
Here's the Letter
Here is the best press release
Here's a general follow-up with links to other press
Here is a Huffington Post article
SafeGround held a press conference on this letter and little press coverage was given to this issue. Our major newspaper had a press clipping. This issue was not on the agenda to discuss in the city council meeting.
Our mayor loses sleep because of this issue, but is doing nothing to resolve it.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Here It Goes Again. . .
This song ("Here It Goes Again", by OK Go) just happened to start playing when I started writing this post. And it couldn't be more perfect.
I was gone on a Re-Orientation retreat for the JVC in the past week. I was back at the same camp in Aptos, CA, examining my life, again. This time, six months later, I knew my casa-mates better, and a few other JVs, too. It was a time to rededicate ourselves to the four tenants, particularly Social Justice. (In case you don't remember, the four tenants that I have dedicated my life to are Community, Social Justice, Simple Living, and Spirituality.)
There were lots of talks on the Pastoral Circle and the Ignatian method of discernment. (St. Ignatius of Loyola was the founder of the Jesuits and who my casa is named after!) We examined our experiences, social analysis, theological reflections, discernment, and action. We had fantastic prayers held by different casas in the Southwest region, a wonderful homily given by another Sacramento JV, and different activities every night.
And now I'm back in Sacramento, at my job, in my casa. I have six months left. Six months. Six months to deepen my relationships with my community members, co-workers, friends, and guests. Six months to live in this fantastic house, live off of $100 a month, not pay any bills, receive a food box whenever I ask, and be generally protected by almost everyone I meet. I have one particularly protective guest, James, that asks me every day if I have a problem with anyone at the park. If I do, he'll take care of it. Every day my answer is the same- "Not today, James, but I'll let you know." Yesterday, my co-worker Tim and I went to an elementary school to talk with the classes and pick up recycled bikes from their service learning class. The one thing I tried to stress in each class is how well we are taken care of- protected and safe. It truly feels like a family!
So here I go again- and I can't wait!
I was gone on a Re-Orientation retreat for the JVC in the past week. I was back at the same camp in Aptos, CA, examining my life, again. This time, six months later, I knew my casa-mates better, and a few other JVs, too. It was a time to rededicate ourselves to the four tenants, particularly Social Justice. (In case you don't remember, the four tenants that I have dedicated my life to are Community, Social Justice, Simple Living, and Spirituality.)
There were lots of talks on the Pastoral Circle and the Ignatian method of discernment. (St. Ignatius of Loyola was the founder of the Jesuits and who my casa is named after!) We examined our experiences, social analysis, theological reflections, discernment, and action. We had fantastic prayers held by different casas in the Southwest region, a wonderful homily given by another Sacramento JV, and different activities every night.
And now I'm back in Sacramento, at my job, in my casa. I have six months left. Six months. Six months to deepen my relationships with my community members, co-workers, friends, and guests. Six months to live in this fantastic house, live off of $100 a month, not pay any bills, receive a food box whenever I ask, and be generally protected by almost everyone I meet. I have one particularly protective guest, James, that asks me every day if I have a problem with anyone at the park. If I do, he'll take care of it. Every day my answer is the same- "Not today, James, but I'll let you know." Yesterday, my co-worker Tim and I went to an elementary school to talk with the classes and pick up recycled bikes from their service learning class. The one thing I tried to stress in each class is how well we are taken care of- protected and safe. It truly feels like a family!
So here I go again- and I can't wait!
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