Friday, March 30, 2012

It Gets Better, We'll Get Better!

This week (much like all weeks) has been a mixture of highs and lows. 

High: (Saturday afternoon) I saw "The Hunger Games" with 4 of my casa-mates!! I was a huge fan of the books and loved the movie! (I wanted a more concrete ending, but overall was really pleased.)
Low: (Monday morning) I was inappropriately touched at work, decided not to press charges, and had to talk to a counselor.  I took the rest of the day off.
High: (Monday night) Along with the rest of my casa and a few friends, I went to a concert of the band FUN. It was well worth $20, and very FUNky. (We tried to make FUN puns all day!)
Low: Three times this week I was faced with men who all needed some sort of help, but I couldn't help them. Walker needed a case manager to file for Medicare, Wayne needed a case manager to get his current caretaker away from him, and Matt needed a case manager to figure out his situation and give him the best advice possible.  In all three situations, there was nothing I could do that I didn't try.
High: (Thursday morning) Friendship Park went to the zoo!!  120 men and a few staff members went, saw their "relatives" (this was the running joke at the park), and returned before lunch was over!  It was so exciting!
Low: (Thursday morning) I only got to go to the zoo for less than an hour :( Not nearly enough time to see all the animals!
High: (Friday afternoon) Tim took me out driving on real roads! No more parking lot for me!
Bonus: I didn't hit anything!!

The plans for this weekend include hanging out with friends, going to a not-so-surprise going away party for our support person Madonna, and church!

Friday, March 23, 2012

You Work Real Hard and Pay's Real Low. . .

This week I have been working real hard!  (I do every day.)

About an hour before we closed for the day at the park, I sat down and just felt exhausted.  My body ached, especially my palms.  It was very weird.  I realized that I had not sat down since lunch time.  I was running every where for everybody.

Vince needs clothes for his wife.
Justin needs a glass coffee mug.
5 winners weren't enough at BINGO.
Jim needs help filling out his online job application.
Red needs shoes, a hat, a beanie, and gloves.  And so does his three friends.
Randy didn't get lunch and hasn't eaten in three days.
Westley proposed after I got him a pair of shoes.
Christina needs medication and to get away from her abusive boyfriend, and needs to stay off drugs.
Rabbit needs to yell at somebody.
John needs a friendly face to talk to.
Zia sent me a card telling me we'd always be best friends.

And that was just today, and only a few of the stories.

Everyday is filled with stories at the park.  I love helping people, but I'm ready for the weekend.

No plans but relaxation.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Hold On to Your Head When You're Heart is Broken

This week has been challenging and I've been dealing with many losses.

1. I'm going to lose my community member and co-worker two months early.  She is leaving us for a job opportunity that is too good to pass up. 

2. Though I'm uncertain of my future, I am fairly certain I will not be staying at Friendship Park due to an unavailability of job positions.  I really wanted to stay and am completely in love with the work I do, and am sad to realize it will be going away.  I never expected to love it and this place as much as I do and am coping with the fact that it will end.

3. There has been family issues this week.  Until I get further clearance to discuss them, please pray for my family.

On top of all that, it has been raining all week in Sacramento.  It's good for the crops, but not for the guests I work with.  Everyone has been negative, cranky, sometimes even arrogant and hostile. 

When the guests do something that really disappoints me, I tell them, "You hurt my heart."  My heart has been hurting a lot this week.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Sleep Well, and When You Dream, Dream of Me

So it's almost midnight on the west coast, but I wanted to write this post before Saturday, because Saturday is our community's technology free day.  I will write a few brief points about this week now, and hopefully expand on them later. . . better yet, call, write or message me for more information!  I would love to hear from people!  (It can be a lonely life out here sometimes, especially since I'm so far away from family, friends, and everything I've ever known!!)

A few points:
-Our JVC program coordinator, Amber, was in this week to meet with us individually to check in.  Our community is good, says the report.
-Alice had her 23rd birthday on Wednesday!!  We celebrated by eating appetizers for dinner and we will be going dancing tomorrow.
-A group of 13 college students spent their spring break volunteering at Loaves and Fishes this week! It was great to have extra help!
-I bought my plane ticket home in May!!!!
-I got my CA driver's permit!! License, here I come!

Friday, March 2, 2012

I'm Just a Little Bit Caught in the Middle

Not only has this song been stuck in my head all week, but it's pretty much how I've been feeling.  Don't misunderstand me- work is a great place and everyone there is very supportive.  The community is supportive, as well, and there hasn't been any problems there. 

The problem is this pulled feeling. 

At work, a single father and his 2 year old son that came to me to get out of California.  I tried my hardest, and we still couldn't help him.  Every resource is tapped out of funds.  No one could give him money.  In addition, his situation raised a few red flags.  I struggled all day (and the next few) with this tension. Why is the child in his custody? Why does he want to leave the state so quickly?  Could it be his simple explanation, or is there more?  Are we only suspicious of him because he is a man, or would we be equally suspicious if it was a mother?  I have not seen him since I initially helped him, and can only pray for him and the safety of his son.

One of my community members has a definite plan for her future!  Though I am excited for her, I am disappointed in myself.  I don't even have an inkling of what I want to do or where I want to be.  I don't have a guess of what city, what job field, nada.  Nothing comes to me, though I think about it constantly and pray about it frequently. 

My family was all together to celebrate Tom going into Nationals- Yay Tom!!  I am extremely proud (as many are!) and wish him the best!  When they were together though, I was alone thousands of miles away.  Yes, it was my choice to move to Sacramento, and I would not change it.  But I'm still allowed to be sad!

I keep thinking of song lyrics to support this torn feeling, but the song "Que Sera Sera" keeps popping into my head now! 

My next post will be titled "Que Sera Sera- Whatever will be, will be" because that is how I should be living my life!  I'm tired of feeling disgruntled.  So what that I don't know where I want to be?  I will keep on being, and I will be open to new experiences!  I did my best with the father and son, and now I have to trust that God will do His best- and He will, since He's God!  I believe this is where I need to be, and this is where I should be! 

Alright- Whatever will be, will be!