Friday, April 27, 2012

Here We Go Into the Wild Blue Yonder!

Last weekend was fun- Bicycle Day at Loaves and Fishes Saturday morning, extra volunteer work at L&F on Sunday, and then an Eve 6 concert on Sunday night!

This week has been pretty usual at the park. . . seizures, fights, joy, laughter, heartbreak, pain.

As a staff member of Friendship Park, we are not supposed to have favorites.  We are to treat as guest with the same kindness, trust, and respect that we treat everybody with.

Though we all try to hold this ethic, every green hat has their favorite. . . I'm not prepared to say David is my favorite, but I do give him a little extra attention. 

David is very mentally ill, and just lost his dad recently. 

Monday, he was barefoot when I first saw him.  I got him a pair of shoes with lime green laces.  He loved them.  He was seen later that day barefoot again.

Tuesday, he had shaved and was wearing the shoes again.  He mentioned Bicycle Day and wanted a bike.  (We had a few left over, but I didn't tell him this.)

Wednesday, I saw him smoking a cigarette.  Instead of rolling papers, he used pages of the Bible.  Jim said it was a burnt offering.

Thursday, after a bit of nagging on my end, we got him a leftover bike!  When I rolled it out to him he said, "Holy s***! Holy s***! I won't sell this for dope! Holy s***! I'm keeping it forever!"
He then proceeded to work on it for the rest of the day.

Friday (today), I saw him.  I did not see the bike.

Wherever that bike is, it is going to make someone happy- hopefully it is David.
Maybe David has the bike somewhere, maybe he doesn't.  He deserves a break from his pain (like all of our guests), and at least I got to see the joy in him for a few brief hours.


Now I'm off to YOSEMITE with my casa-mates!!  This my first time camping and hiking!  Though I'm scared of being eaten by bears and mountain lions, slipping and dying on the Mist Trail, and other camping related injuries, I'm trying it! And I'm going to have a great time!!

Friday, April 20, 2012

NorthCal is Where my Mind States (But It's Not my State of Mind)

Seeing my family and a few friends last week was such a blessing! I saw most of my mom's side at my cousin Susie's wedding (Congrats!), my grandma B, my aunt Judy and her family, all my sisters and their husbands (sans Tom) and daughters, my mom and dad (of course!!) and friends Brittany, Sarah, Matt, and Bill.

What more could I ask for from a week vacation?

I got back to Sacramento on Wednesday night, and went to work the next morning.  Sadly, there had been numerous fights, threats, assaults, and substance abuse.  The bosses decided to shut the park down for Friday in an attempt to curb bad behavior.

Today gave me an excellent chance to catch up on the work I missed and have some fun time, too!

Tomorrow will be bicycle day at the park!!  There is a junior high school about an hour away that makes and repairs bikes as a part of the curricular.  When the students finish a bike, they can choose to keep it or donate it to Loaves & Fishes.  Some of the students are taking a field trip to L&F tomorrow to raffle them away and help the guests repair their current bicycles. It will be a great day!!

As for plans this weekend. . . hm.  I'm just going to Bike Day tomorrow at the park and an Eve 6 concert on Sunday with friends Nick and Bridget!!  No other endeavors have been premeditated, but I'm sure something fun will happen!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

I'm So Excitied! I Just Can't Hide It!

After a fairly uneventful week in Sacramento, I'm flying back to Chicago tomorrow! (That's why I'm writing this blog post now.)

Back in Sacramento I will be missing Tessa's birthday, Laura's marathon, and getting to meet Alice's parents, which all make me sad, but I'll be in town for my cousin's wedding, to see my Grandma B, and to be at my niece's dance recital!  I'm very thankful for those who made it possible. . . you know who you are!!

I really should try to get some sleep before my flight. . .

Friday, April 6, 2012

Everything Sad is Coming Untrue!

*This post is very difficult to write, and may not be my best writing.  Bear with me as I sort through my feelings.  I try not to do that much!

As most of you know, I had brain surgery on April 4th, 2006.  I was 18 and it changed my entire life.  Every year, April 4th is a rough day for me.  When that day came around, I always focused on the negative. 

I changed; My body changed.
I lost who I was.
I won't be who I could have been.
Part of me died that day.
The true me died that day.

In fact, I secretly called it my "death day."

Not this year. 6 years of thinking that is enough.

I went out to lunch with a friend, and when I told him this, he referred to the day as my "birthday." 
It is- it's my "re-birthday!" (How fitting that it is around Easter!)

I did change- for the better! I wouldn't be here (in JVC) without it. The larger truth is that I wouldn't be here (alive) without it.

I did not lose who I was- I merely grew into who I am!

I am who I was meant to be. This experience was going to happen in my life, and I'm thankful to have had capable doctors, the best therapists, and a WONDERFUL AND SUPPORTIVE family and friends that stuck with me through it all!!

Part of me changed that day, but I didn't die!

The "true me" never died- I AM ALIVE! (For many years I thought I should have died and was angry that I didn't, but I am glad to be alive now! I'm not dead, and that means God has a purpose for me being on this earth today!)

Today you are you
that's truer than true,
There is no one alive
who is youer than you!
-Dr. Suess