Friday, June 1, 2012

Feelings/Enough is Enough!

This year has been about growth, and I'm going to continue the trend. I don't like sharing my feelings (especially those of the not-so-happy kind) but I'm going to try for you.  See, growth.

Everything was going fine.  I was suppressing my anxiety.  Instead of job applying, I was just casually looking.  I updated my resume and was looking at job sites.  Nothing really excited me.

But it was all going to work out.

This week was Anne's last week.  She is starting a teaching fellowship in NYC.  She knows what she is doing.

Me? Not so much.

But it's fine.  It will all work out.  I will find something.

Tuesday, the community went to a Giants v. Diamondbacks game.  It was our last community outing.

Thursday was Anne's last full day.  We ate chili, played rummy 500, and listened to our casa's awesome playlist, complete with Fleetwood Mac.  *Le sigh.


I was supremely sad today.  It was a mixture of Anne's leaving, anxiety for the future, and bad sinuses. (I went to urgent care on Wednesday because I was blowing out bloody mucus. They did nothing.) 

Around 10 am, I decided to stop.  Stop feeling bad.  I have two months left.  I have some wonderful plans ahead, including a mock wedding!  Yes, I don't know what will happen in the future, nor do I have immediate plans after JVC, but I trust.

In about February, I was having a miniature future-freak out as well. My spiritual director, Sister Claire, gave me a plaque of her wall that says:
"I do not know the master plan, but it is comforting to know the Master has planned it and I am included."

I have two months left! Instead of dwelling on how fast it will go and the things I will be missing out on now or in the future (such as this job and my community), I will enjoy every second of it!

Enough is Enough (is Enough is Enough)!!

I pledge to you, loyal readers, I will stop worrying so much and LIVE IT UP!

In that spirit, I'm off to a Giants v. Cubs game in San Francisco!  Go Cubbies!!!


  1. Hey Nicole, It must be hard seeing your casa mates leave, does that mean new ones are coming in? I have seen the growth you have made since your time at JVC. You have a heart full of love and compassion, you will shine in whatever you choose to do. :)
    Have fun at the game, I will look for you on tv.
    Love, Aunt J

    1. No, new ones are not coming. We all started together and we're all supposed to finish together, but Anne left early for a different job.

      The Cubs almost won in the top of the 9th, but then DeJesus came in for pinch hitting, and struck out. It was super exciting!!