I'm home!! I couldn't be more excited! I get to see my cherished family and bestest friends, and have a good ol' time!
Christmas eve/Christmas festivities were sure different with only Krystal and I in the house, but we had some great times: Christmas Eve church service, dinner with co-workers and then mass at the Cathedral, Christmas breakfast, work, and then over to Chris and Dan Delany's (the founders of L&F) for Christmas dinner. Christmas wasn't too crazy at the park. Only 600 people were there and a few extra volunteers stood in so the staff could take a day off.
Some great news from the park: Kenny, Richard, and Country found housing, and Jesse won his SSI case and gets back pay! (Yay!)
Some bad news from the park: I lost my temper two days in a row. Not proud moments for me. Fortunately, one of the guests I blew up with accepted my apology and our relationship is just like it always was.
Also in bad news, Safeground (the want-to-be tent city) got ransacked by the police. Over 150 people were displaced, but they kept their tents and belongings. 20 hotel vouchers were made available, although most can't qualify for them. The city also says it has an additional 60 beds in a shelter available, but that isn't enough. For the full report from Sacrament newspaper click here. I know the mess that I left in, and I pray for the people and our staff that will have to deal with it. (The backlash from this will still be there when I return.)
But I'm so grateful I get to be home! I get to share in Christmas, birthday parties, New Year's Eve parties, sleepovers and hang out time with family and friends! Yesterday, three of my nieces (the other were sick), two of my sisters (the other one stayed home with her girls), and my mom and dad surprised me at the airport! We had impromptu family dinner, and today, we're off to celebrate family Christmas! The rest of the week is booked solid, but I'm still trying to squeeze in as much time with my dear ones as I can.
Talk to you in the new year!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Soon It Will Be Christmas Day!
Because the JVC life is such a busy one, I have decided to tell you about my home life in the first part of this post, then reviewing work, and recapping in the last part. Good luck following!
Part 1: When I last wrote, Tessa already left and Kathleen did too. The weekend uneventfully passed.
On Monday morning, Anne left. Our casa was down to four and we felt more like friends, not family. Alice had prepared a great spirituality night where we focused on the winter solstice. It was great to have candlelight and quiet time!
Tuesday night was our community night. With only 4 in the community, we chose to do something that you wouldn't be able to do with 7 people: eat out! We went to a pub, ordered some English fare, and then drove around the Sacramento area looking at Christmas lights. One block had lights hanging in the trees that zig-zagged over the street, and EVERY house had Christmas lights on! It was beautiful!
Wednesday, Alice and Laura left. (*sad sigh.) Krystal and I were the only ones left. . . Maryhouse (the women's program at Loaves and Fishes) was having a fundraiser at an Irish pub nearby. My support person Madonna took the remaining MV (Bridget) and I to it, where we ate and drank for free! (A volunteer we work with owns the pub.)
Thursday flew by, and I went to bed early. . . not much happens when there's only two of you. . .
Work got out early Friday, so Krystal and I crafted the night away! While doing crafts and playing Christmas movies in the background, Krystal and I bracketed the best animated male. Our three categories: princes, creatures, and other humans. After two hours of debate, Dimitri from Anastasia beat out Prince Eric to win. (The creature who was highest in his division was Woody from Toy Story. Without a moment of hesitation, we both agreed Woody was far better than Buzz. Our friendship is eternal.)
Plans for Saturday are still up in the air. All I know is that they will consist of crafting, gift wrapping, grocery shopping, church service and perhaps some more Christmas lights.
Sunday (CHRISTMAS!!!!) is well planned out! We will wake up about 6am, eat and Krystal will open her gifts, skype with family, and then off to work by 8am. We will finish at work about 2pm, and most likely napping will follow. Then we are going over to Chris and Dan Delany's (the founder of Loaves & Fishes) for Christmas dinner with their family. We have work the next morning, so we won't be out long.
Part 2: I can't stress how hectic work is! The Americorps volunteers had left, our Jesuit high school lunch helper left, several of the regular volunteers and a few staff members left for the week, Anne is gone, and Molly left Friday morning. Not only are we short staffed with the holidays, but we have had groups coming in almost everyday to distribute a bonus bag with breakfast. The park is reaching about 800 people a day, which is only about 50 people lower than this time previous months. Donations have also been streaming in at the warehouse. Christmas hams, toiletries, stockings, underwear, toys, gloves, and blankets are abundant! It is so thrilling you can almost forget how busy you are. . . almost!
A few work highlights-
1. It is freezing temperature at night, so men's shelter opened their doors to create a warming center. It was opened for the past three days, but something is better than nothing.
2. I got Chad to have a conversation with me! I usually watch the sugar table in the morning, and Chad hangs out there. He is very quiet, and I've only had limited interaction with him. On Tuesday, we had a full conversation about the weather, where we are from originally, family, and other various subjects. My next project is to see him (or even make him) smile!
3. Gabe is leaving for a job on Christmas! A guy came to us a few months ago, newly homeless. With a few months of hard work and perseverance on his part, he got a better job with the competitor of his former employer! Take that poor economy!
Part 3: In conclusion, this week has been fun, lonely, busy, and amazing! I can't wait to be home and see my family!! Speaking of seeing my family. . . . BETH AND TOM ARE MOVING OUT HERE!!! Tom got a position training with Olympic hopefuls an hour away and he will be out here in a few short weeks! Beth will join him in June/July, and then I'll get to see them whenever I want! (No planes necessary!)
That is a happy Christmas!
Part 1: When I last wrote, Tessa already left and Kathleen did too. The weekend uneventfully passed.
On Monday morning, Anne left. Our casa was down to four and we felt more like friends, not family. Alice had prepared a great spirituality night where we focused on the winter solstice. It was great to have candlelight and quiet time!
Tuesday night was our community night. With only 4 in the community, we chose to do something that you wouldn't be able to do with 7 people: eat out! We went to a pub, ordered some English fare, and then drove around the Sacramento area looking at Christmas lights. One block had lights hanging in the trees that zig-zagged over the street, and EVERY house had Christmas lights on! It was beautiful!
Wednesday, Alice and Laura left. (*sad sigh.) Krystal and I were the only ones left. . . Maryhouse (the women's program at Loaves and Fishes) was having a fundraiser at an Irish pub nearby. My support person Madonna took the remaining MV (Bridget) and I to it, where we ate and drank for free! (A volunteer we work with owns the pub.)
Thursday flew by, and I went to bed early. . . not much happens when there's only two of you. . .
Work got out early Friday, so Krystal and I crafted the night away! While doing crafts and playing Christmas movies in the background, Krystal and I bracketed the best animated male. Our three categories: princes, creatures, and other humans. After two hours of debate, Dimitri from Anastasia beat out Prince Eric to win. (The creature who was highest in his division was Woody from Toy Story. Without a moment of hesitation, we both agreed Woody was far better than Buzz. Our friendship is eternal.)
Plans for Saturday are still up in the air. All I know is that they will consist of crafting, gift wrapping, grocery shopping, church service and perhaps some more Christmas lights.
Sunday (CHRISTMAS!!!!) is well planned out! We will wake up about 6am, eat and Krystal will open her gifts, skype with family, and then off to work by 8am. We will finish at work about 2pm, and most likely napping will follow. Then we are going over to Chris and Dan Delany's (the founder of Loaves & Fishes) for Christmas dinner with their family. We have work the next morning, so we won't be out long.
Part 2: I can't stress how hectic work is! The Americorps volunteers had left, our Jesuit high school lunch helper left, several of the regular volunteers and a few staff members left for the week, Anne is gone, and Molly left Friday morning. Not only are we short staffed with the holidays, but we have had groups coming in almost everyday to distribute a bonus bag with breakfast. The park is reaching about 800 people a day, which is only about 50 people lower than this time previous months. Donations have also been streaming in at the warehouse. Christmas hams, toiletries, stockings, underwear, toys, gloves, and blankets are abundant! It is so thrilling you can almost forget how busy you are. . . almost!
A few work highlights-
1. It is freezing temperature at night, so men's shelter opened their doors to create a warming center. It was opened for the past three days, but something is better than nothing.
2. I got Chad to have a conversation with me! I usually watch the sugar table in the morning, and Chad hangs out there. He is very quiet, and I've only had limited interaction with him. On Tuesday, we had a full conversation about the weather, where we are from originally, family, and other various subjects. My next project is to see him (or even make him) smile!
3. Gabe is leaving for a job on Christmas! A guy came to us a few months ago, newly homeless. With a few months of hard work and perseverance on his part, he got a better job with the competitor of his former employer! Take that poor economy!
Part 3: In conclusion, this week has been fun, lonely, busy, and amazing! I can't wait to be home and see my family!! Speaking of seeing my family. . . . BETH AND TOM ARE MOVING OUT HERE!!! Tom got a position training with Olympic hopefuls an hour away and he will be out here in a few short weeks! Beth will join him in June/July, and then I'll get to see them whenever I want! (No planes necessary!)
That is a happy Christmas!
Saturday, December 17, 2011
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. . .
"There'll be parties, for hosting, marshmallows for toasting, and carolling out in the snow. . ."
-1 out of three ain't bad!! (There was no marshmallow toasting or snow to speak of!)
Like almost all weeks, this week has been a mixture of highs and lows. So much has happened this week, that I can't hardly remember it all! So here is a summary by day:
Last Saturday was our Casa Iggy Christmas party. One word to describe it- Legen. . . wait for it. . . dary! (Legendary!!) We had over 70 people in total, 40 of whom were JVs!
Sunday was equally great- a nice breakfast spread for all the JVs that slept over, and when they left, a Titanic viewing! (I'll never let go, Jack!)
Monday was work, then spirituality night where we discussed the poem, "Give a Little Jesus."
Tuesday was a crazy day at work with many pitfalls. Later that day was our free night, so we all just vegged out!
Wednesday was Laura's birthday!! We gave her gifts, had friends over and played Euchre, a card game the casa learned over Thanksgiving. (We play it all the time now!)
Thursday was chaotic at work! Maryhouse, the women's program at Loaves & Fishes, had their Christmas brunch. Over 200 women showed up to sing karaoke and eat a wonderful and hot breakfast! Right after that, Women's Empowerment, a non-profit across the street where Alice and Laura work, had their graduation ceremony. After a 6 week course, where women learn job skills and build self-esteem, they have a graduation ceremony to celebrate their achievement. It is a very busy day for W.E., and everybody involved. At the same time, Jesuit High School in Sacramento called Tim and I to pick up their coats and things from a month long drive. This is the second time this month Tim and I have been called out, with the high school boys donating almost 200 sweaters and coats each time! One boy was even so generous, that he donated his used jock strap!
Later that night, we celebrated Christmas at the Casa, because it was the last night we would all be together. We did Secret Santa, and we got showered with presents! I had Alice, and I made her a photo album and filled it with photos of the year so far. Tessa had me and made me a BEAUTIFUL gray circle scarf, green coasters, and red jewelry wire! Our Christmas was great!
Friday, when I should have posted, was Friendship Park's Christmas. Anne led carols and the workers had a pizza party! We played White Elephant, where I made out like a bandit! I won straws, cat odor eaters, and a Chicago puzzle! Santa even left a specific gift for me- a brand new jock strap! I will cherish it forever!
After that, Krystal and I drove to see my brother-in-law, Tom! He is checking out some training facility an hour and half away, so we got together and had a wonderful dinner! It was so nice seeing him, and it reminded me that I will see the rest of my family in less than 2 weeks!!
Today, Saturday, we are just lounging around the house. Tessa left for the holidays Friday night, and Kathleen left this morning. :( Anne, Laura, and Alice leave us on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, respectively. Our house will not be all together until I come back in January! It is amazing how much of a family we are!
-1 out of three ain't bad!! (There was no marshmallow toasting or snow to speak of!)
Like almost all weeks, this week has been a mixture of highs and lows. So much has happened this week, that I can't hardly remember it all! So here is a summary by day:
Last Saturday was our Casa Iggy Christmas party. One word to describe it- Legen. . . wait for it. . . dary! (Legendary!!) We had over 70 people in total, 40 of whom were JVs!
Sunday was equally great- a nice breakfast spread for all the JVs that slept over, and when they left, a Titanic viewing! (I'll never let go, Jack!)
Monday was work, then spirituality night where we discussed the poem, "Give a Little Jesus."
Tuesday was a crazy day at work with many pitfalls. Later that day was our free night, so we all just vegged out!
Wednesday was Laura's birthday!! We gave her gifts, had friends over and played Euchre, a card game the casa learned over Thanksgiving. (We play it all the time now!)
Thursday was chaotic at work! Maryhouse, the women's program at Loaves & Fishes, had their Christmas brunch. Over 200 women showed up to sing karaoke and eat a wonderful and hot breakfast! Right after that, Women's Empowerment, a non-profit across the street where Alice and Laura work, had their graduation ceremony. After a 6 week course, where women learn job skills and build self-esteem, they have a graduation ceremony to celebrate their achievement. It is a very busy day for W.E., and everybody involved. At the same time, Jesuit High School in Sacramento called Tim and I to pick up their coats and things from a month long drive. This is the second time this month Tim and I have been called out, with the high school boys donating almost 200 sweaters and coats each time! One boy was even so generous, that he donated his used jock strap!
Later that night, we celebrated Christmas at the Casa, because it was the last night we would all be together. We did Secret Santa, and we got showered with presents! I had Alice, and I made her a photo album and filled it with photos of the year so far. Tessa had me and made me a BEAUTIFUL gray circle scarf, green coasters, and red jewelry wire! Our Christmas was great!
Friday, when I should have posted, was Friendship Park's Christmas. Anne led carols and the workers had a pizza party! We played White Elephant, where I made out like a bandit! I won straws, cat odor eaters, and a Chicago puzzle! Santa even left a specific gift for me- a brand new jock strap! I will cherish it forever!
After that, Krystal and I drove to see my brother-in-law, Tom! He is checking out some training facility an hour and half away, so we got together and had a wonderful dinner! It was so nice seeing him, and it reminded me that I will see the rest of my family in less than 2 weeks!!
Today, Saturday, we are just lounging around the house. Tessa left for the holidays Friday night, and Kathleen left this morning. :( Anne, Laura, and Alice leave us on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, respectively. Our house will not be all together until I come back in January! It is amazing how much of a family we are!
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Oh Come All Ye Jesuit Volunteers. . .
Well, a correction is in order. . . Today (Saturday) is our Casa Iggy/ JV party, not yesterday. Yesterday was a Loaves & Fishes Christmas party, followed by the Newman Catholic Center (on Sacramento State University) Christmas party. I was still unable to write a blog post due to primping.
This week's main feature has been prepping for our Christmas party! While 5 of us in the casa were gone at the 49ers game all Sunday, Anne and Laura stayed back to decorate. When I eventually arrived home after a 5 hour gridlock, I turned on the lights in our house and CHRISTMAS EXPLODED! They have both described the day as "the scene in Elf."
Tonight is going to be awesome! Almost half (about 40) of the JVs in the Southwest region are coming!
But with all this hustle and bustle, I have to still mention my job! Have I mentioned how much I love it? This week has made me truly realize how blessed I am (being in Sacramento, living with wonderful casa-mates, working at the park, being a part of Loaves & Fishes, being a JV!) My true highlight of the week was hysterical! My story telling is better in person, but I will try writing this . . .
When you work in the park, you tend to get a ton of compliments, creepy as they may be. I met Al near the office and he needed shoes. He immediately asked me, "Has anyone told you how pretty you are today?" He kept telling me how "pretty" I was. Like I said, that's quite normal in the park, so I shrugged it off. When I took Al into the office, he saw Molly, another green hat worker in the park. Without blinking he exclaimed, "Molly! You're f***ing beautiful!" Being a little incensed, I said, "She's f***ing beautiful, but I'm just pretty? Thanks, Al!" It was a great moment!
I'm taking my "pretty" self and doing more prep work for the party tonight. A great time will be had by all!
This week's main feature has been prepping for our Christmas party! While 5 of us in the casa were gone at the 49ers game all Sunday, Anne and Laura stayed back to decorate. When I eventually arrived home after a 5 hour gridlock, I turned on the lights in our house and CHRISTMAS EXPLODED! They have both described the day as "the scene in Elf."
Casa Iggy sans 2 (Tessa, Krystal, Alice, Kathleen and me) tailgaiting at 49ers game with numerous Sacramento friends
The rest of the week had the normal features (community night, spirituality night, meals together) with a Christmas spin! We went down to the Capitol building and saw the tree lighting ceremony, and the mayor and governor were there! We played cards, went shopping, cooked, and cleaned almost all week. Tonight is going to be awesome! Almost half (about 40) of the JVs in the Southwest region are coming!
But with all this hustle and bustle, I have to still mention my job! Have I mentioned how much I love it? This week has made me truly realize how blessed I am (being in Sacramento, living with wonderful casa-mates, working at the park, being a part of Loaves & Fishes, being a JV!) My true highlight of the week was hysterical! My story telling is better in person, but I will try writing this . . .
When you work in the park, you tend to get a ton of compliments, creepy as they may be. I met Al near the office and he needed shoes. He immediately asked me, "Has anyone told you how pretty you are today?" He kept telling me how "pretty" I was. Like I said, that's quite normal in the park, so I shrugged it off. When I took Al into the office, he saw Molly, another green hat worker in the park. Without blinking he exclaimed, "Molly! You're f***ing beautiful!" Being a little incensed, I said, "She's f***ing beautiful, but I'm just pretty? Thanks, Al!" It was a great moment!
I'm taking my "pretty" self and doing more prep work for the party tonight. A great time will be had by all!
Friday, December 2, 2011
It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas. . . Not!
From the blog post title, you, clever readers, can ascertain that in fact, it doesn't look like Christmas around here. Loaves & Fishes and Casa Iggy have pulled out their decorations, but have not decorated with them, yet. (I am in charge of decorating the park on Monday and we will decorate our house tomorrow.) I doubt even after we decorate that it will look like Christmas. Sacramento hasn't had snow in 11 years. It was about 60 degrees today, and I worked in jeans and a long sleeve shirt. (Be jealous!)
A few things of note-worthiness happened here:
1. After a fun Thanksgiving weekend, it was time to go back to work. Monday was difficult for everyone!
2. It was my turn to host our community night on Tuesday. Since Krystal was missing and our community was not complete, I focused on something light-hearted: jewelry making! All the girls learned to make earrings and kept their treasures! Fun was had by all!
3. Krystal (and her parents) came back to Casa Iggy on Wednesday. . . with a car!! (It almost seems odd having one after going without for 4 months!) We cannot wait to take a casa vacation!
4. Thursday was the first of the month, so the park was pretty empty (only about 600) compared with the day before, when we had 840 guests. The Winter Overflow shelter also opened, so at least 90 people have shelter this winter!
5. Today, the park held a memorial service for Steven, the man who passed away over 2 weeks ago. It was my first memorial service I attended in the park, and the love, kindness, and true sincerity of the guests overwhelmed me. It was very moving.
I'm looking forward to dinner tonight made by Krystal's parents, and then karaoke tonight! Saturday is decorating day, and Sunday, we are going to the 49ers football game in San Francisco! A fun weekend indeed!
P.S.- Next Friday is the Casa Iggy Christmas Party, so I will not be posting until Saturday.
A few things of note-worthiness happened here:
1. After a fun Thanksgiving weekend, it was time to go back to work. Monday was difficult for everyone!
2. It was my turn to host our community night on Tuesday. Since Krystal was missing and our community was not complete, I focused on something light-hearted: jewelry making! All the girls learned to make earrings and kept their treasures! Fun was had by all!
3. Krystal (and her parents) came back to Casa Iggy on Wednesday. . . with a car!! (It almost seems odd having one after going without for 4 months!) We cannot wait to take a casa vacation!
4. Thursday was the first of the month, so the park was pretty empty (only about 600) compared with the day before, when we had 840 guests. The Winter Overflow shelter also opened, so at least 90 people have shelter this winter!
5. Today, the park held a memorial service for Steven, the man who passed away over 2 weeks ago. It was my first memorial service I attended in the park, and the love, kindness, and true sincerity of the guests overwhelmed me. It was very moving.
I'm looking forward to dinner tonight made by Krystal's parents, and then karaoke tonight! Saturday is decorating day, and Sunday, we are going to the 49ers football game in San Francisco! A fun weekend indeed!
P.S.- Next Friday is the Casa Iggy Christmas Party, so I will not be posting until Saturday.
Friday, November 25, 2011
A Thankful Heart is a Happy Heart!
One of my favorite Veggie Tales is the story of Madame Blueberry, the blueberry who always wanted more stuff. All of the songs are terrific (as most Veggie Tales songs are), but my favorite one is this, "The Thankfulness Song:"
I thank God for this day
For the sun in the sky
For my mom and my dad
For my piece of apple pie
For our house on the ground
For His love that's all around
That's why I say "Thanks" everyday
Because a thankful heart is a happy heart
I'm glad for what I have
That's an easy way to start
For the love that He shares
'Cause He listens to my prayers
That's why I say "Thanks" everyday!
That song pretty much sums up my life everyday, except I don't like apple pie!
You have probably guessed what else I'm thankful for: work, Casa Iggy, JVC, health, all my wonderful family, all my new Sacramento friends, all my friends I miss back home, all the people who let me into their lives everyday, etc. This week has only reinforced those! I miss home very much, but am so thankful that I got to be apart of Thanksgiving here!
The only day out of the year that Loaves & Fishes does not serve lunch is Thanksgiving. So many other places serve a Thanksgiving day meal that it is utterly pointless to serve one here. Instead, Loaves & Fishes has Thanksgiving on the Tuesday before. There were almost 1200 guests that day!
After the Thanksgiving feast (the kitchen staff started cooking turkeys the day before, 50 extra volunteers came in, and an extra kitchen trailer was brought in just for more oven and stove space) EACH AND EVERY GUEST GOT A NEW PAIR OF SOCKS, GLOVES AND A HAT! What a great day!
Other bonuses that happened:
- 105 pairs of new shoes were donated on Monday!
- There was so much food left over from Tuesday, that we also had it on Wednesday too!
- Casa Iggy had a great Thanksgiving where we all made dishes from home, so I made. . . PRETZEL JELLO! Although my casa-mates were skeptical, everyone liked it! (Duh. It's pretzel jello!)
Casa Iggy and friends are planning a hike/nature walk in a nearby Redwoods forest today, shopping and karaoke tomorrow, and the Bears and Raiders game on Sunday!
Happy Thanksgiving!!
I thank God for this day
For the sun in the sky
For my mom and my dad
For my piece of apple pie
For our house on the ground
For His love that's all around
That's why I say "Thanks" everyday
Because a thankful heart is a happy heart
I'm glad for what I have
That's an easy way to start
For the love that He shares
'Cause He listens to my prayers
That's why I say "Thanks" everyday!
That song pretty much sums up my life everyday, except I don't like apple pie!
You have probably guessed what else I'm thankful for: work, Casa Iggy, JVC, health, all my wonderful family, all my new Sacramento friends, all my friends I miss back home, all the people who let me into their lives everyday, etc. This week has only reinforced those! I miss home very much, but am so thankful that I got to be apart of Thanksgiving here!
The only day out of the year that Loaves & Fishes does not serve lunch is Thanksgiving. So many other places serve a Thanksgiving day meal that it is utterly pointless to serve one here. Instead, Loaves & Fishes has Thanksgiving on the Tuesday before. There were almost 1200 guests that day!
After the Thanksgiving feast (the kitchen staff started cooking turkeys the day before, 50 extra volunteers came in, and an extra kitchen trailer was brought in just for more oven and stove space) EACH AND EVERY GUEST GOT A NEW PAIR OF SOCKS, GLOVES AND A HAT! What a great day!
Other bonuses that happened:
- 105 pairs of new shoes were donated on Monday!
- There was so much food left over from Tuesday, that we also had it on Wednesday too!
- Casa Iggy had a great Thanksgiving where we all made dishes from home, so I made. . . PRETZEL JELLO! Although my casa-mates were skeptical, everyone liked it! (Duh. It's pretzel jello!)
Casa Iggy and friends are planning a hike/nature walk in a nearby Redwoods forest today, shopping and karaoke tomorrow, and the Bears and Raiders game on Sunday!
Happy Thanksgiving!!
Friday, November 18, 2011
'Cause you had a bad day. . .
This week started out great! Saturday, I went to San Francisco on a whim with Tessa and Laura (unfortunately, Alice and her sister were supposed to go too, but Alice got sick) and had a pretty good time doing nothing much! (On the way home I even got a chocolate milkshake from In and Out, which is a pretty big deal if you know my history with milkshakes.) Sunday was spent just lounging around, watching one of the greatest shows of all time- Family Ties. (Alex P. Keaton will forever remain one of my first loves.) And that was where the fun stopped.
Everything on Monday seemed to be normal. I didn't have any gloves to give out, but I had shoes and beanies. One of my casa-mates who works at the park, Anne, felt sick and went home. I had to work the lunch ticket line for a bit while other people were busy doing their numerous tasks. A woman came up to the line and asked when the last time was when her brother was here. A note on the screen said he passed away in his sleep on Friday night. Fortunately another co-worker (Mark) was there and handled the situation. I was dumbstruck. I dove into the office and checked the lists Tim and I keep for hats, gloves, and sleeping bags. Yup- I gave him gloves a week ago. I knew him. I met him. I took down his name. And now, he's gone. He was the first guest I know who has died. And I can't remember his face.
Sure I said comforting things to myself. "You see hundreds of guests a day." "At least he had gloves." "I bet I was nice to him." I even conjured up a facial image that might be him. But I'm not sure.
So Monday was depressing at work. Later that night I had an awful yoga experience but came home to a great community night with our support people, Madonna and Larry.
That night, I got sick with "the disease," a flu that is spreading around our house. I took Tuesday off and felt good enough to work on Wednesday.
Wednesday came and went without anything much happening. I stayed out of view for the most part, ate lightly, and did not over exert myself, but Anne was still not feeling better and another one of my casa-mates, Tessa, came down with "the disease."
I went to work again Thursday, but was not feeling as good as I wanted to. A large shipment of gloves came in though. Having gloves is a mixed blessing. They keep the men happy and warm who get them, but there are only about 20 pairs to give out in a day. I have to keep track of the men I give gloves out to. If they already got a gloves, I have to turn them down. The gloves got stolen? Sorry. You lost them? Sorry. You gave them to your girl? Sorry, she could have gotton them at Maryhouse. I'm checking state issued identification for frickin' gloves!
Fortunately, there are several other places that hand out hats and gloves, but I hate turning guys down.
Later that day, a man asked for shoes. His shoes appeared in good condition. I can only exchange shoes when they are ripped, haves holes in the soles, or are hardly shoes at all. I told him no. He told me in a polite but demeaning way, "I'm not going to beg for shoes. These have holes in them, but don't worry Baby Girl, I'm not going to beg for shoes." I immediately apologized and asked where the holes are. He repeated his statements, and asked me to go away.
I'm used to this kind of talk. I'm used to saying no and being called awful names, much worse than that. But this hit me hard today. I found a quiet spot on a park bench and debated with myself. I apologized more in my head. I felt immense hurt at the way he said "Baby Girl" as if I was something of a pristine child that doesn't understand and doesn't care. Maybe I don't fully understand, but I know I care.
I felt nauseous once again and raced to the office. I find my bosses talking alone in the office and ask to go home. They ask simple questions, but I only want to go home. Without hesitation, they say okay and Jim drives me home.
I amble slowly because my body is racked with guilt and pain. I find my way to the bed, and cry.
This is the first real cry I've had in years. (Sure, tears have leaked out occasionally and I've swallowed a lump in my throat more times than I'd like to admit, but I don't genuinely release my tears often.) I can't get over how I've contributed to a man's lack of dignity. I cry over him, and his words. I cry for the man who died that I can't remember, but knew. I cry because of the pain I feel is nothing compared to the pain that almost all of our guests live through on a daily basis.
My short-lived tears turned into a few hours nap. I called Beth, told her as little as possible, but wanted to hear a friendly voice. My mom beeps in and I talk to her. She cheers me up with a little story and reminds me how much I'm loved.
Today was much more bearable, though I avoid the man who refused shoes. I take it light, don't eat much, pass out gloves, hear what a good job I'm doing, and try to help a man pay his electric bill.
Tonight, I'm going to a christian music concert (Winter Jam) with a few people from the Newman center on Sacramento State campus. I haven't been to a christian concert in months, and am excited at the possibility of feeling normal again.
This week has been rough, and another one of my casa-mates, Laura, got "the disease" today. Though I'm feeling less achy and am trying to keep my spirits up with juvenile novels, Family Ties, and inspirational books, I can't deny this week was seriously sucky. I hate crying, but I will admit, I feel better. I know that next week will be better (it is Thanksgiving after all!!) and that God is giving me the strength and courage to continue. I just wish I didn't have to lean on Him so hard.
Everything on Monday seemed to be normal. I didn't have any gloves to give out, but I had shoes and beanies. One of my casa-mates who works at the park, Anne, felt sick and went home. I had to work the lunch ticket line for a bit while other people were busy doing their numerous tasks. A woman came up to the line and asked when the last time was when her brother was here. A note on the screen said he passed away in his sleep on Friday night. Fortunately another co-worker (Mark) was there and handled the situation. I was dumbstruck. I dove into the office and checked the lists Tim and I keep for hats, gloves, and sleeping bags. Yup- I gave him gloves a week ago. I knew him. I met him. I took down his name. And now, he's gone. He was the first guest I know who has died. And I can't remember his face.
Sure I said comforting things to myself. "You see hundreds of guests a day." "At least he had gloves." "I bet I was nice to him." I even conjured up a facial image that might be him. But I'm not sure.
So Monday was depressing at work. Later that night I had an awful yoga experience but came home to a great community night with our support people, Madonna and Larry.
That night, I got sick with "the disease," a flu that is spreading around our house. I took Tuesday off and felt good enough to work on Wednesday.
Wednesday came and went without anything much happening. I stayed out of view for the most part, ate lightly, and did not over exert myself, but Anne was still not feeling better and another one of my casa-mates, Tessa, came down with "the disease."
I went to work again Thursday, but was not feeling as good as I wanted to. A large shipment of gloves came in though. Having gloves is a mixed blessing. They keep the men happy and warm who get them, but there are only about 20 pairs to give out in a day. I have to keep track of the men I give gloves out to. If they already got a gloves, I have to turn them down. The gloves got stolen? Sorry. You lost them? Sorry. You gave them to your girl? Sorry, she could have gotton them at Maryhouse. I'm checking state issued identification for frickin' gloves!
Fortunately, there are several other places that hand out hats and gloves, but I hate turning guys down.
Later that day, a man asked for shoes. His shoes appeared in good condition. I can only exchange shoes when they are ripped, haves holes in the soles, or are hardly shoes at all. I told him no. He told me in a polite but demeaning way, "I'm not going to beg for shoes. These have holes in them, but don't worry Baby Girl, I'm not going to beg for shoes." I immediately apologized and asked where the holes are. He repeated his statements, and asked me to go away.
I'm used to this kind of talk. I'm used to saying no and being called awful names, much worse than that. But this hit me hard today. I found a quiet spot on a park bench and debated with myself. I apologized more in my head. I felt immense hurt at the way he said "Baby Girl" as if I was something of a pristine child that doesn't understand and doesn't care. Maybe I don't fully understand, but I know I care.
I felt nauseous once again and raced to the office. I find my bosses talking alone in the office and ask to go home. They ask simple questions, but I only want to go home. Without hesitation, they say okay and Jim drives me home.
I amble slowly because my body is racked with guilt and pain. I find my way to the bed, and cry.
This is the first real cry I've had in years. (Sure, tears have leaked out occasionally and I've swallowed a lump in my throat more times than I'd like to admit, but I don't genuinely release my tears often.) I can't get over how I've contributed to a man's lack of dignity. I cry over him, and his words. I cry for the man who died that I can't remember, but knew. I cry because of the pain I feel is nothing compared to the pain that almost all of our guests live through on a daily basis.
My short-lived tears turned into a few hours nap. I called Beth, told her as little as possible, but wanted to hear a friendly voice. My mom beeps in and I talk to her. She cheers me up with a little story and reminds me how much I'm loved.
Today was much more bearable, though I avoid the man who refused shoes. I take it light, don't eat much, pass out gloves, hear what a good job I'm doing, and try to help a man pay his electric bill.
Tonight, I'm going to a christian music concert (Winter Jam) with a few people from the Newman center on Sacramento State campus. I haven't been to a christian concert in months, and am excited at the possibility of feeling normal again.
This week has been rough, and another one of my casa-mates, Laura, got "the disease" today. Though I'm feeling less achy and am trying to keep my spirits up with juvenile novels, Family Ties, and inspirational books, I can't deny this week was seriously sucky. I hate crying, but I will admit, I feel better. I know that next week will be better (it is Thanksgiving after all!!) and that God is giving me the strength and courage to continue. I just wish I didn't have to lean on Him so hard.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)