Step One, You Say, "We Need To Talk."

The blog post titles are song lyrics that pertain to the posts. This post will be in steps, and it has to do with talking. . . but that will become clear later.

Step 1: Yosemite

Last weekend my casa and I went to Yosemite.  It was absolutely perfect!!  I had never slept in a tent before or gone on a hike.  We got to our campsite on Friday night, set up, and made a bonfire.  By midnight we were asleep. We all awoke relatively early on Saturday, went to Yosemite Valley, hiked up the John Muir Trail to Vernon Falls, and then took the Mist Trail down.  (It was about 9 miles round trip, about 4,000 ft elevation difference. . . thereabouts.)

The Mist Trail was terrifying! It was a very soaked set of rock stairs about 2 feet in width, with people coming up and down! (Fun fact: More people have died on the Mist Trail than any other trail. . .) Honestly, it wasn't that bad. I just concentrated on my feet and getting to solid ground more than I took in the views. Good thing for cameras and caring casa-mates!

After this hike we went to Mirror Lake (about a two mile hike) and just rested. Then we went back to our camp, had dinner (hot dogs and chili!) and s'mores! ("First you put the 'mallow" was repeated several times.)

On Sunday we cleaned up our site, and went to hike in Tuolumne Grove, a forest of Giant Sequoias! Alice led us in a tree meditation, which was a perfect end to a great vacation!

Oh, and we saw a bear. Thankfully, we were in a car and the bear would have eaten all the people taking pictures before us.

Step 2: The Work Week

The park was closed on Tuesday (and will remain closed until next Tuesday) for summer maintenance.  I painted all week!!  Though I get frustrated often during painting, it was really relaxing in general. (The shorter hours didn't hurt either!)  It was really tough on the guests, but the park got a much needed spruce!

After work I went to go see The Raven with Krystal, Travis, and Avery. It was great to see a movie. . . even a bad one. . . Another night Travis and I drove to UC Davis to hear Ron Paul speak.  Although it wasn't very audible (the people behind us were quite vocal) it was very interesting to be a part of.

Step 3: The Weekend

Tonight I will be going to "A Concert in the Park" with Cait, some casa-mates, and other Sacramento friends.  Saturday will be a cleaning day (my room is a pigsty!) and probably something fun that night, but no plans of yet.

Sunday morning I will go to church and then . . .

Step 4: Silence

Sunday afternoon until Wednesday afternoon, I will be on Silent Retreat in Northern CA.  That's at least 72 hours of no talking. (We get to talk for an hour a day to our Spiritual Director on Monday and Tuesday, but that's it.)  I have a few books I plan on bringing (including a Bible and a journal) but who knows what I'll do.  (Probably sleep, walk, read, and think.) 

Please pray for me to keep an open heart.

Here We Go Into the Wild Blue Yonder!

Last weekend was fun- Bicycle Day at Loaves and Fishes Saturday morning, extra volunteer work at L&F on Sunday, and then an Eve 6 concert on Sunday night!

This week has been pretty usual at the park. . . seizures, fights, joy, laughter, heartbreak, pain.

As a staff member of Friendship Park, we are not supposed to have favorites.  We are to treat as guest with the same kindness, trust, and respect that we treat everybody with.

Though we all try to hold this ethic, every green hat has their favorite. . . I'm not prepared to say David is my favorite, but I do give him a little extra attention. 

David is very mentally ill, and just lost his dad recently. 

Monday, he was barefoot when I first saw him.  I got him a pair of shoes with lime green laces.  He loved them.  He was seen later that day barefoot again.

Tuesday, he had shaved and was wearing the shoes again.  He mentioned Bicycle Day and wanted a bike.  (We had a few left over, but I didn't tell him this.)

Wednesday, I saw him smoking a cigarette.  Instead of rolling papers, he used pages of the Bible.  Jim said it was a burnt offering.

Thursday, after a bit of nagging on my end, we got him a leftover bike!  When I rolled it out to him he said, "Holy s***! Holy s***! I won't sell this for dope! Holy s***! I'm keeping it forever!"
He then proceeded to work on it for the rest of the day.

Friday (today), I saw him.  I did not see the bike.

Wherever that bike is, it is going to make someone happy- hopefully it is David.
Maybe David has the bike somewhere, maybe he doesn't.  He deserves a break from his pain (like all of our guests), and at least I got to see the joy in him for a few brief hours.


*******

Now I'm off to YOSEMITE with my casa-mates!!  This my first time camping and hiking!  Though I'm scared of being eaten by bears and mountain lions, slipping and dying on the Mist Trail, and other camping related injuries, I'm trying it! And I'm going to have a great time!!

NorthCal is Where my Mind States (But It's Not my State of Mind)

Seeing my family and a few friends last week was such a blessing! I saw most of my mom's side at my cousin Susie's wedding (Congrats!), my grandma B, my aunt Judy and her family, all my sisters and their husbands (sans Tom) and daughters, my mom and dad (of course!!) and friends Brittany, Sarah, Matt, and Bill.

What more could I ask for from a week vacation?

I got back to Sacramento on Wednesday night, and went to work the next morning.  Sadly, there had been numerous fights, threats, assaults, and substance abuse.  The bosses decided to shut the park down for Friday in an attempt to curb bad behavior.

Today gave me an excellent chance to catch up on the work I missed and have some fun time, too!

Tomorrow will be bicycle day at the park!!  There is a junior high school about an hour away that makes and repairs bikes as a part of the curricular.  When the students finish a bike, they can choose to keep it or donate it to Loaves & Fishes.  Some of the students are taking a field trip to L&F tomorrow to raffle them away and help the guests repair their current bicycles. It will be a great day!!

As for plans this weekend. . . hm.  I'm just going to Bike Day tomorrow at the park and an Eve 6 concert on Sunday with friends Nick and Bridget!!  No other endeavors have been premeditated, but I'm sure something fun will happen!

I'm So Excitied! I Just Can't Hide It!

After a fairly uneventful week in Sacramento, I'm flying back to Chicago tomorrow! (That's why I'm writing this blog post now.)

Back in Sacramento I will be missing Tessa's birthday, Laura's marathon, and getting to meet Alice's parents, which all make me sad, but I'll be in town for my cousin's wedding, to see my Grandma B, and to be at my niece's dance recital!  I'm very thankful for those who made it possible. . . you know who you are!!

I really should try to get some sleep before my flight. . .

Everything Sad is Coming Untrue!

*This post is very difficult to write, and may not be my best writing.  Bear with me as I sort through my feelings.  I try not to do that much!

As most of you know, I had brain surgery on April 4th, 2006.  I was 18 and it changed my entire life.  Every year, April 4th is a rough day for me.  When that day came around, I always focused on the negative. 

I changed; My body changed.
I lost who I was.
I won't be who I could have been.
Part of me died that day.
The true me died that day.

In fact, I secretly called it my "death day."

Not this year. 6 years of thinking that is enough.

I went out to lunch with a friend, and when I told him this, he referred to the day as my "birthday." 
It is- it's my "re-birthday!" (How fitting that it is around Easter!)

I did change- for the better! I wouldn't be here (in JVC) without it. The larger truth is that I wouldn't be here (alive) without it.

I did not lose who I was- I merely grew into who I am!

I am who I was meant to be. This experience was going to happen in my life, and I'm thankful to have had capable doctors, the best therapists, and a WONDERFUL AND SUPPORTIVE family and friends that stuck with me through it all!!

Part of me changed that day, but I didn't die!

The "true me" never died- I AM ALIVE! (For many years I thought I should have died and was angry that I didn't, but I am glad to be alive now! I'm not dead, and that means God has a purpose for me being on this earth today!)


Today you are you
that's truer than true,
There is no one alive
who is youer than you!
-Dr. Suess

It Gets Better, We'll Get Better!

This week (much like all weeks) has been a mixture of highs and lows. 

High: (Saturday afternoon) I saw "The Hunger Games" with 4 of my casa-mates!! I was a huge fan of the books and loved the movie! (I wanted a more concrete ending, but overall was really pleased.)
Low: (Monday morning) I was inappropriately touched at work, decided not to press charges, and had to talk to a counselor.  I took the rest of the day off.
High: (Monday night) Along with the rest of my casa and a few friends, I went to a concert of the band FUN. It was well worth $20, and very FUNky. (We tried to make FUN puns all day!)
Low: Three times this week I was faced with men who all needed some sort of help, but I couldn't help them. Walker needed a case manager to file for Medicare, Wayne needed a case manager to get his current caretaker away from him, and Matt needed a case manager to figure out his situation and give him the best advice possible.  In all three situations, there was nothing I could do that I didn't try.
High: (Thursday morning) Friendship Park went to the zoo!!  120 men and a few staff members went, saw their "relatives" (this was the running joke at the park), and returned before lunch was over!  It was so exciting!
Low: (Thursday morning) I only got to go to the zoo for less than an hour :( Not nearly enough time to see all the animals!
High: (Friday afternoon) Tim took me out driving on real roads! No more parking lot for me!
Bonus: I didn't hit anything!!

The plans for this weekend include hanging out with friends, going to a not-so-surprise going away party for our support person Madonna, and church!

You Work Real Hard and Pay's Real Low. . .

This week I have been working real hard!  (I do every day.)

About an hour before we closed for the day at the park, I sat down and just felt exhausted.  My body ached, especially my palms.  It was very weird.  I realized that I had not sat down since lunch time.  I was running every where for everybody.

Vince needs clothes for his wife.
Justin needs a glass coffee mug.
5 winners weren't enough at BINGO.
Jim needs help filling out his online job application.
Red needs shoes, a hat, a beanie, and gloves.  And so does his three friends.
Randy didn't get lunch and hasn't eaten in three days.
Westley proposed after I got him a pair of shoes.
Christina needs medication and to get away from her abusive boyfriend, and needs to stay off drugs.
Rabbit needs to yell at somebody.
John needs a friendly face to talk to.
Zia sent me a card telling me we'd always be best friends.

And that was just today, and only a few of the stories.

Everyday is filled with stories at the park.  I love helping people, but I'm ready for the weekend.

No plans but relaxation.